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Discovering what truly matters to us and what we can do to change our limiting perspectives.
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MindFull of GOOD

 

An Occasional Offering from Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

NEW ON THE BEING WELL PODCAST:

Creating a Healthy Relationship (With Yourself)
with Najwa Zebian

"The mistake most of us make is building our homes in other people. When we do that, we give them the power to make us homeless."
– Najwa Zebian
Poet, activist, and author Najwa Zebian joins Forrest on this episode of the Being Well Podcast for a conversation focused on discovering what truly matters to us.

FREE ONLINE SUMMIT:

Healing Toxic Relationships

If you ever feel lonely and disconnected, or like you're walking on eggshells in your relationships, you might want to check out the FREE online Healing Toxic Relationships Super Conference. 70+ of the world’s most trusted relationship experts (including Rick) will share their research and methods for breaking toxic
relationship patterns and fostering better, deeper human connection.

ALSO NEW ON THE BEING WELL PODCAST:

How to Change Your Perspective

Forrest and Rick explore what perspectives are, what a healthy perspective looks like in practice, and how we can deliberately shift our perspectives over time.

ASK RICK:

Why do people 'beat themselves up'? Does it serve any hidden purpose?

I think people beat themselves up – which is different from healthy guidance of oneself (which includes appropriate winces of remorse or shame) – for two reasons: too much inner attacking, and too little inner nurturance. These two forces in the mind are out of balance. Why? Multiple reasons, including individual differences in temperament (some people are more prone to anxiety or grumpiness).
"But for most people the primary sources are what they have internalized (especially as a child) from their family, peers, and culture."
Then, once harsh self-criticism has been internalized along with insufficient internalization of self-nurturance, beating oneself up can take on a life of its own, both as simply a habit and as a way (that goes much too far, at considerable cost) to avoid the possibility of making mistakes or looking bad in front of others.

Whole networks of neurons and related and complex physical processes (e.g., neurotransmitter activity, epigenetic processes) are the basis for acquiring fears, including because a person has been on the receiving end of much anger from others. In other words, learning occurs: emotional, social, somatic, motivational, attitudinal learning: enduring changes in neural structure or function due to a person’s experiences. Check out Joseph LeDoux and the learning of anxiety and fear.

The amygdala also flags experiences as personally relevant, with a bias in most people’s brains toward flagging what is negatively relevant. Then the hippocampus gets involved, tagging that relevant experience for storage. (I’m simplifying a complex process that also involves other circuitry in the brain.) The amygdala and hippocampus have receptors for various neurochemicals, including oxytocin, and over time these subcortical parts of the brain (two of each, on either side of the brain) can be modified by our experiences; in effect, they “learn,” too.

RICK'S PICKS:
Rethinking What Really Matters: The Four Most Important Things in Life
In the midst of life's chaos, it's crucial to prioritize your purpose, time, health, and meaningful connections. Truly embracing these four elements can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.
 
MindFull of Good is a free newsletter that highlights new and free content from Rick Hanson as well as other free offerings to fill yourself up with good.


Being Well, Inc., 25 Mitchell Blvd., Suite 3, San Rafael, California 94903, United States
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