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Just One Thing |
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Simple Practices for Resilience and Happiness from
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DR. RICK HANSON
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Starting on January 4th, I'll be leading another group of folks through my yearlong Foundations of Well-Being program, and I hope you'll consider joining! Every week we'll learn a new, practical skill to handle life's challenges so you can start thriving, instead of just getting by day to day. (And if you
sign up now, you can save 40%.)
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Where Does It Hurt? |
THE PRACTICE: |
Recognize Suffering in Others. |
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— Why? — |
We’re usually aware of our own suffering, which – broadly defined – includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and fulfillment; that said, we’ll sustain a single focus here.)
But seeing the suffering in others: that’s not so common. All the news and pictures of disaster, murder, and grief that bombard us each day can ironically numb us to suffering in our own country and across the planet. Close to home, it’s easy to tune out or simply miss the stress and strain, unease and anger, in the people we work, live – even sleep – with.
This creates problems for others, of course. Often what matters most to another person is that someone bears witness to his or her suffering, that someone just really gets it; it’s a wound and sorrow when this doesn’t happen. And at the practical level, if their suffering goes unnoticed, they’re unlikely to get help.
Plus, not seeing suffering harms you as well. You miss information about the nature of life, miss chances to have your heart opened, miss learning what your impact on others might be. Small issues that could have been resolved early on grow until they blow up. People don’t like having their pain overlooked, so they’re more likely to over-react, or be uncharitable toward you when you’re the one having a hard time. Wars and troubles that seemed so distant come rippling across our own borders; to paraphrase John Donne, if we don’t heed the faraway tolling of the bell for others, it will eventually come tolling for thee and me.
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— How? — |
This week look at faces – at work, walking down the street, in the mall, across the dinner table. Notice the weariness, the bracing against life, the wariness, irritability, and tension. Sense the suffering behind the words. Feel in your body what it would be like for you to have the life of the other person.
Be careful not to be overwhelmed. Take this in small doses, even a few seconds at a time. If it helps, recall some of the happy truths of life, or the sense of being with people who love you. Know that there are ten thousand causes upstream of each person leading to this present moment: so much complexity, so hard to blame a single factor.
And then open up again to the suffering around you. To a child who feels like an afterthought, a worker who fears a layoff, a couple caught up in anger. Don’t glide over faces on the evening news, see the suffering in the eyes looking back at you.
Watch and listen to those closest to you. What’s hurting over there? Face it, even if you have to admit that you are one of its causes. If appropriate, ask some questions, and talk about the answers.
How does it feel to open to suffering? You could find that it brings you closer to others and that there is more kindness coming back your way. You could feel more grounded in the truth of things, particularly in how it is for the people around you.
Take heart. Opening up to suffering is one of the bravest things a person can do.
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NEW ON THE BEING WELL PODCAST
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Working with Your Parts: Complex PTSD, Dissociation, and Hypervigilance with Elizabeth Ferreira |
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In this episode, Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to discuss complex PTSD, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic lens to working with our parts.
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| Check out the Episode
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NEW FROM THE WEDNESDAY MEDITATIONS + TALKS
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How to Be a Good Listener – and Help Others Listen Better to You |
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Last week I offered a live meditation on Vastness and Lovingness, followed by a talk on How to Be a Good Listener – and Help Others Listen Better to You, and I hope you'll check it out.
If you haven't yet, sign up to join me every week for this free, live offering.
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MORE GOOD STUFF
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SCIENCE NEWS (VIEW ARCHIVE HERE)
This list of Nature's 10 people who helped shaped science in 2024 beautifully illuminates how diverse individuals, from fraud busters to nuclear-clock makers, are actively shaping our scientific understanding and societal progress, reminding us of the extraordinary potential within each person to contribute meaningfully to our world.
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FOR PARENTS
Some kids are naturally easy-going, adaptable, and cheerful. On the other hand, probably at least a third of all children depart dramatically from this, and it’s usually quite clear by the child’s first or second birthday. Most of these kids fit one of these patterns.
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FROM OUR FRIENDS
James Baraz’s popular AWAKENING JOY course is now open for registration. This popular course presents 10 practice themes to develop more consciousness, love and caring in ourselves and others.
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HAVE YOU READ IT YET?
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Resilient |
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Learn how to develop key inner strengths – like grit, gratitude, and compassion – to stay calm, confident, and happy no matter what life throws at you. Available in Hardcover, Paperback eBook, and Audiobook, wherever books are sold.
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| Get Your Copy
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WORDS OF WISDOM
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"When suffering falls away, what is revealed is not a big blank but a natural sense of gratitude, good wishes for others, freedom, and ease." |
— RICK HANSON, PHD
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JUST ONE THING (JOT) is the free newsletter that suggests a simple practice each week for more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind. A small thing repeated routinely adds up over time to produce big results.
Just one thing that could change your life.
(© Rick Hanson, 2024)
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