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Just One Thing |
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Simple Practices for Resilience and Happiness from |
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DR. RICK HANSON |
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What do others give you? |
THE PRACTICE: |
Say Thanks. |
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— Why? — |
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What do you feel when someone thanks you for something? For a comment in a meeting, a task done at home, an extra step taken, an encouraging word.
You probably feel seen, appreciated, that you matter to the other person. Maybe a little startled, maybe wondering if you really deserve it, but also glad. Personally, this is how it is for me.
Turning it around, when you say "thank you" to someone, it is a small moment with big ripples: a confirmation of deep and wonderful truth, that we all depend on each other, that we are all joined - across dinner tables and the world - in a web whose threads are innumerable acts of giving.
For example, often when I eat a meal I’ll take a moment to imagine the details of how that tomato or rice was grown and then transported onto my plate, including the people who walked the fields to plant and eventually pick it, and the man or woman who drove the truck that carried it to the store where I bought it. Those folks do not know me, but they’re real people, working hard, hoping for a good life, worrying about the people they love, extending themselves in their jobs, giving me something extra, all this woven into the food that’s entering my blood, my bones: thank you.
You can’t possibly say thank you to everything you’re given. No one can. So, when you do say thanks, it’s a token of your appreciation for the larger whole, joining you with that whole. It will make you happy to open to the giving coming your way each day.
And in giving thanks to the people in your life, you open the door to receiving their thanks in turn. In your home or company, a nice circle, a step toward a culture of gratitude. |
— How? — |
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For starters, it's hard to give thanks if you're uncomfortable acknowledging that you have received something. Perhaps you don't want to feel indebted, or don't want to look needy. Maybe it's simply embarrassing. These feelings are normal - but they can sure get in the way of being thankful.
To deal with them, begin by naming them to yourself: squirmy . . . embarrassed . . . resentful . . . awkward . . . don’t want to owe anyone anything . . . Hold them in a big open space of awareness, like dark clouds in a vast sky. Don’t fight them, but gently move your attention away from them, back to your breathing and to a basic sense of being alright as a body . . . bringing to mind a sense of being cared about by someone . . . recognizing some of your good intentions in life . . . knowing one or more benefits to you of saying thanks . . . knowing what the other person has given you . . . feeling a simple sense of appreciation . . . feeling that it’s alright to be thankful . . . making it OK in your mind to express thanks.
And then be straightforward and simple and say "Thank you" in whatever way is natural.
Many thank you's involve little things in the flow of life, like thanking someone for passing the salt at dinner. Let these small moments matter to you. Feel your thanks in your chest and throat. When you say your thanks, try to let them show in your eyes. Life is made up of moments, beads on a golden chain; what are you stringing together? As they say in Tibet: "If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves."
Also, consider where you might have a backlog of thanks, perhaps for some big things like saying thanks to your parents or other relatives, to old friends and new ones, to teachers and coaches of all kinds. Thanks to lovers and mates, children, pets, neighbors - even people you have never met, even the whole natural world. A wonderful and powerful practice is to make a list of people you want to thank directly and then gradually move through the list. You can also certainly offer thanks in your imagination, such as to people who are no longer living, to people far away, to groups of people, to specific animals or nature in general, or spiritual beings or forces if that is meaningful to you.
Throughout, it is very sweet to be thankful for the opportunity to give thanks. |
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NEW ON THE BEING WELL PODCAST |
Now What? What to Do When Things Fall Apart |
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Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs: a sudden job loss, a relationship ending, a health crisis, or losing faith in something. These moments can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore a practical framework for navigating life's most challenging transitions. They break down the essential steps for finding your footing when things fall apart: managing the initial emotional impact, steadying yourself, gathering information, working with loss, and taking meaningful action. |
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NEW FROM THE WEDNESDAY MEDITATIONS + TALKS |
The Good News That’s Still True |
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Last week I offered a live meditation on Resting in Openness, Lovingness, Peacefulness, followed by a talk on The Good News That’s Still True, and I hope you'll check it out.
If you haven't yet, sign up to join me every week for this free, live offering.
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MORE GOOD STUFF |
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SCIENCE NEWS (VIEW ARCHIVE HERE)
This may come as little surprise to many readers of this newsletter, but a recent University of Iowa study suggests that expressing gratitude may be linked to increased longevity, giving us yet another reason to say thanks.
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FOR PARENTS
Family tensions related to sibling rivalries wear on parents individually, and sometimes can challenge their marriage – so it’s important to tackle them in steady, systematic ways.
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STARTING SATURDAY: TRAUMA COURSE
If you've had trouble bringing kindness to yourself as a result of past hurts, you may want to check out my Trauma and the Healing Power of Love course, which starts on Saturday.
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HALF-DAY RETREAT WITH TARA BRACH
If you’re looking for a heartfelt evening of connection and wisdom, don’t miss Tara’s talk on Radical Love—it’s all about finding courage and compassion in these wild times.
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HAVE YOU READ IT YET? |
Neurodharma |
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New Science, Ancient WIsdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness. Available in Hardcover, Paperback eBook, and Audiobook, wherever books are sold.
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WORDS OF WISDOM |
"I feel thankful for all that was in order for me to be. For grace, for wisdom, for the sacred, for spirit as I know it. For this moment, this breath, this sight. For every good thing that was, that is, that ever will be." |
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— RICK HANSON, PHD |
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JUST ONE THING (JOT) is the free newsletter that suggests a simple practice each week for more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind. A small thing repeated routinely adds up over time to produce big results.
Just one thing that could change your life.
(© Rick Hanson, 2024) |
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